Tips First Date

Do you believe there is an amazing partner out there for you? Or do you believe that you've already met your prefect paramour and all you've got to do is navigate the choppy waters of that all important first date to get the show on the road? I live in the centre of the universe (London) but the rules of the dating game are the same wherever you live, and if you follow my tips and advice, then it's a game that you're going to win.

FOR GUYS...

1) Be confident (and if you don't feel confident - act it!) - women love confidence in a man, they find this incredibly sexy.

2) Take charge and revel in your masculine energy; ladies love to relax on dates knowing that you have organised all the details. It's up to you to decide where to go, book a table etc.

3) Ask her questions about herself that allow her to open up; listen intently and make sure you nod, um and arrhhh in all the right places.

4) If you really the girs, take her flowers on the first date (the bigger the bunch the more points you score!) Women love romance so if you can romance a lady, then you're already at first base.

5) Be attentive to her needs, make sure she is not too hot/ cold, that she has a drink etc; women notice small details like that.

6) Look at her as much as you can (no ogling though!); women love attention and they like to feel like they are being admired.

7) If you can afford it, pay for her on the first date. You don't have to go anywhere expensive - a local gastro-pub will do. But don't come across a bit of a meanie as first impressions last.

8) Take her somewhere on a first date that encourages conversation - perhaps for meal and a nice glass of wine - but in a bar or restaurant that isn't too noisy. Remember, if you go somewhere like the cinema or a football match, then you wont be able to chat and get to know each other.

9) Women always look at shoes, be sure yours reflect the right image!

10) A great smell can make a lasting impression. I have often heard women talk about a guy's after-shave so make sure you stock up on the CK1!

FOR GIRLS...

1) Wait for a guy to ask you out - this may sound old fashioned but men love the chase, allow yourself to be pursued and enjoy it.

2) Allow him to book a table, open doors, pay you compliments, pay for the meal etc; give him control of the first date!

3) Be happy and be the type of person that men want to be with; radiate good energy, smile and your date will be all the more entranced.

4) Approach the date with the aim of having fun; forget about whether he is Mr Right and focus on just enjoying yourself and having a good time.

5) Compliment a man, the things he is doing for you, the choice of meal etc - men love this.

6) Take an interest in HIS interests. Don't just talk about yourself and what you like to do.

7) Don't mention your 'ex'! There'll come a time in any relationship when both of you will talk about your past relationships. Unless the guy specifically brings up the subject, a first date really isn't the time.

8) Turn your mobile 'phone off. If you're taking calls from your friends or reading texts, your date will soon lose interest. Only keep your phone switched on if you're expecting a VERY important call.

9) If the guy has invited you out for a meal, be careful how much you spend on his credit card. You don't necessarily have to choose the cheapest items on the menu, but don't order lobster and Champagne either. If a man invites you out for dinner on a first date, don't use it as an excuse to indulge yourself in a way that you wouldn't do if you were paying for yourself.

10) Say thank you - in fact you should say it twice; at the end of the date as you're saying goodnight and then either in a follow-up 'phone call or by text message the next day. Even if you don't want to see him again (in which case, thank him by text!), you don't want to give him the impression that you have no manners.

First Date - Clothes to wear

It’s your first date and you want to make just the right impression. Generally, for a lot of guys, they get pressured about where to take their date, how to behave, what to say, etc. Most often men rarely sweat over what to wear. That is a woman’s prerogative. Most women are generally less concerned about the actual date, they are aware that the pressure is on the men and all that is left to them is to go with the flow. But how to dress to impress is the chief pre-occupation of a woman. It is rightly said that clothes maketh the (wo)man.

TIP: Read how to make any man fall in love with you.

There are some general rules, for both men and women, which dictate what is appropriate dressing for a first date.

1. Clothes should add to your appeal.

You are the best judge of what makes you look good. Or your friends must have told you what you look best in. It could be a certain shade that matches your baby blues and brings out the colour in them. Or a fitted tee that makes the most of your sculpted abs and well-developed physique. Or a skirt that shows off your legs to advantage, especially if you’ve been told you have a great pair. Flatter your appearance and make yourself easy on the eye.

2. Suit the clothes to the occasion/venue.

Ensure that you're familiar with the dress code. Double-check if it is a formal restaurant or a casual lounge atmosphere and dress accordingly. You wouldn’t want to stick out like a sore thumb in formal attire if it is a more informal and relaxed setting. If your date is going to extend for a major part of the evening and you will be going to more than one place, don’t panic.

You could carry a jacket for the formal look and wear a smart white shirt underneath. Knock off the jacket when you’re done with the formal part of the evening, to blend in with the more casual look of the party you may be going to later. Or for the ladies, a smart jacket or fancy stole over a bustier or a chic top is sufficient to add the formal element, which can be taken off later when you’re ready to let your hair down.

3. Make sure your clothes fit well.

Whatever you wear, do ensure that your clothes give you a good fit. If you’ve lost weight recently, don’t wear clothes that you used to when you were a couple of sizes larger. Clothes that are overly baggy or hang on you will do nothing for your look. And if you’ve gained weight, please don’t try squeezing into those denims that fit when you were at least 10 pounds lighter. You don’t want to ruin your first date with the dreaded sound of your clothes ripping at the seam, do you? Clothes that fit well should perform a double function. They must guarantee comfort while making you look good. It is never a good idea to squirm in discomfort because your top is so tight that you fear that if you laugh a little hard you might pop a couple of buttons. Or if you eat that tempting desert, you will have to release a couple of notches on your belt!

Additional first date dressing tips…

For women

1. Try it on beforehand.

You don’t want to be standing in front of the mirror with your wardrobe hanging open and five outfits laid out, trying to figure out which to wear. All this while the clock is chiming out its message that you should have already been out the door. It pays to prepare in advance and try out whatever it is you plan to wear. You might have last worn it sometime back, and your measurements might have changed since. Or you forgot that the last time you wore that outfit you’d snagged a thread and now it’s too late to do anything about it.

Blind Date Tips

Blind dates can be nerve-wracking and I'm sure you've heard lots of horror stories. They don't have to be this way though. Here are 10 tips to you have a successful blind date!

1. Plan & Prepare.
   First impressions are important as we generally form an impression of a person within just minutes of meeting them. Blind dates are no different. Your first impressions sets the stage for the entire date, so be sure to prepare in advance!
   
   a. Preparing Yourself
   When it comes to appearances, select clothing that is appropriate for your date, such as casual for a movie or a little more dressy for a nice dinner date. Do not wear clothes that are too revealing, strange, or over the top. Get a fresh haircut or trim so that you look neat and well put together. You should also trim your nails (manicures and/or pedicures are always nice), shine your shoes, and/or iron your clothes, if needed. While this may be obvious, make sure that you shower, shave, and smell good. While a bit of cologne or perfume can be sexy, do not overdo it. Remember, you only have once chance at a first impression, so make it a good one!
   
   b. Plan Ahead, But Be Flexible
   Plan your evening ahead, but stay flexible so that you can easily change your plans if needed. If you've planned a night at a party, but realize that your date is more quiet and reserved, why not try a quiet dinner date?
   
   c. Who Pays
   If your date indicates that he is paying, it's up to you whether you take him up on that offer. Because this is your first meeting, you may want to make it clear from the start that you intend to pay for half of everything, that way you avoid feeling as if you owe him anything.
   
   
2. Blind Date Safety.
   Blind dates can be fun and exciting, but remember that this is your first meeting. If you were set up by mutual friends, you may know a bit about the person and your friends may have an idea of your date plans. If not, you'll want to take a few extra precautions. Make sure that a friend knows where you will be and at what times, as well as the name of the person. Carry a cell phone with you at all times as a precaution. Another option is to make the first date a "double" date, so that you can have a friend join you.
   
   
3. Where To Go (and what to do).
   The number one rule is to pick a public place. Not only is there safety in numbers, but you're likely to feel more relaxed and have fun when you're in a public place.
   
   For a blind date, you generally want to avoid the standard dinner date. If the date is not going well, you're stuck together for the entire meal. The same goes for movies and any other activity that generally lasts more than one hour. Keep the date short and simple because with shorter date plans, you can make a quick exit if you're not interested. If you are interested, you can stick around or arrange to meet up again in the future.
   
   You may also want to figure cost into the date factor. It's better to keep the date in the low-to-mid price range so that neither person feels pressure. This is especially important if one person is taking care of all of the date expenses.
   
   Whatever you decide, do something fun where you can have a good time and get to know each other.
   
   A few good options:
   • Meet for coffee
   • A dessert date in the evening
   • Meet for lunch during the week
   • Miniature golf
   • Bowling
   
   Whatever you do, keep your activities comfortable, casual, and not over the top. A blind date is not the time to try new and exotic cuisines or to bungee jump.
   
   
4. The First Meeting.
   Arrive a little early and offer a polite greeting and handshake when he/she arrives. Smile and be friendly, even if you are nervous. Men, be a gentleman and open doors, hang up her coat, pull out her chair, etc. Women, be polite and thank him if he does these things for you.
   
   
5. Be Open Minded.
   Remember that this is a blind date. If you set your expectations too high, you will surely be disappointed. Secretly, we may all want good looking, highly intellectual, slapstick funny dates with an abundance of cash. That's not reality though. Stay open minded and free of high expectations for your date. This will allow you to relax and have a good time rather than setting yourself up for disappointment should the date not go well.
   
   
6. Be Yourself.
   It's easier said than done, but relax, relax, relax. One of the biggest mistakes that people make on blind dates is trying to be someone that they aren't. Just be yourself. Do not feel pressure to wear heels if you normally wear sandals. If you feel more comfortable in jeans and a sweater, don't take her to a 5-start restaurant. During the date, answer questions honestly and talk candidly about yourself without exaggerating. Remember, your date wants to know who you are; not who you your date wants you to be.
   
   
7. Making Conversation.
   Conversation is extremely important to the success of a blind date. Getting it started and keeping it going is essential. Think of a few general, light topics to bring up in the beginning. Ask about her family or his friends. Keep the conversation light, but really try to get to know them.
   
   Do:
   • Ask about him.
   • Ask about her family and friends.
   • Ask about what he or she does for a living.
   • Compliment your date.
   • Ask about his or her interests and hobbies.
   • Discuss music, film, food, and art.
   • Talk about yourself (but not the entire time!)
   • Show an interest in what he or she is saying.
   • Stimulate the conversation with open-ended questions.
   
   Do Not:
   • Discuss past relationships
   • Talk in depth about topics that don't interest the other person.
   • Speak badly about others.
   • Say anything stupid, mean, or inconsiderate.
   • Monopolize the conversation.
   • Cross-examine your date.
   • Ask close-ended questions that require only a 'yes' or 'no' answer.
   
   Body Language
   Also remember that first impressions are not just based on appearance, but on the way you communicate with your words, tone of voice, and body language as well. In fact, body language is actually the most important when it comes to communication. Don't focus on your body language so much that it feels forced because it will come across that way to your date as well. Relax and react appropriately. Keep your eyes on your date, not on yourself or others around you. If you're having a good time, give your date signs that you're enjoying their company.
   
   
8. Things to Watch.
   While you should never go into a blind date with bad expectations, you should keep an eye out for a few 'warning signs'.
   • He or she is wearing a wedding ring.
   • He or she talks about past relationships throughout the date.
   • He speaks badly about his mother or ex-girlfriends.
   • He doesn't offer to pay (unless it was agreed to go dutch).
   • He or she is rude to you directly.
   • He or she treats the waiters rudely or doesn't tip.
   • He or she drinks a lot.
   • He or she does not pay attention to you (i.e. they answer cell phone calls during the date, etc).
   • Be aware of everything he or she says and how they say it.
   • He or she displays any other disturbing, addictive, mentally ill, or criminal behavior.
   
   While there may be little things that you don't like about the person, such as their clothing or hygiene, it's the bigger things that you need to keep an eye out for. You do not want to end up with a self-absorbed, high-maintenance, or worse, an abusive person.
   
   
9. Exit Strategy.
   In the even that a blind date isn't going well, be sure to have an exit plan in place. Have a friend on standby and a cell phone on hand at all times. If needed, excuse yourself to the bathroom and call your friend, having him/her call you back in 5 minutes informing you of an emergency for which you are needed. You may want to have your backup plan set ahead of time by arranging your friend to call 30 minutes into the date and use that as your out if needed. Another option would be tell inform him that you have plans an hour after the two of you are set to meet. If the date is going well, you can call and "cancel" these plans. If it's not going well, you have your out.
   
   
10. Ending The Date.
    Saying goodbye at the end of a blind date has the potential to be very awkward. When the date is over, do what feels right. No matter what, you should remember to thank the other person. If your date went well, be sure to let them know that and mention that you'd really like to see them again. If it didn't go well, then you should not suggest or agree to meeting again, nor should you give your phone number or say you'll call them. This can string him/her along and create creates false hopes and impressions. It's generally better to be honest and upfront, but do it politely. If you don't want to see them again, say something like "I don't think we have a lot in common." Always be kind and make every effort to spare his or her feelings.
    
    

Blind dates do not differ much from other first dates. With these ten tips, your blind date will hopefully turn into a second date!

How to say I LOVE U

Ways to Say "I Love You":

1. Don't compare them to anyone.
2. Be courteous at all times.
3. Embrace the present moments without fear or guilt.
4. Live by the Golden Rule (Do unto others as you would have them do unto you).
5. Give your full attention when talking.
6. Become their biggest fan and cheerleader!
7. Toast each other over breakfast or dinner to say I love you.
8. Tell them how they bring love to your life.
9. Laugh about kids quotes on love or events.
10. Talk about your day during mealtimes.
11. Read books aloud together.
12. Say you're sorry.
13. Recall good and bad memories.
14. Let go of the past to say I love you.
15. Do nothing together.
16. Encourage health in all its forms.
17. Trust your partner enough to cry together.
18. Act silly together.
19. Be lavish in praise.
20. Ask questions about opinions, feelings, thoughts.
21. To say I love you, forget about labels.
22. Encourage adventures and risks!
23. Show your joy when they come home.
24. Bake cookies.
25. Leave stress at work to say I love you.
26. Use flannel sheets in the winter.
27. Solve problems together - such as crosswords or Suduku.
28. Show your gratitude for them.
29. Be a good sounding board.
30. To say I love you, take pride in them -- and show it.
31. Compliment them in front of others.
32. Spend time with them.
33. Listen.
34. Ask for hugs and kisses.
35. Take vacations together.
36. Tell the truth to say I love you.
37. Use pet names to say I love you.
38. Practice self-acceptance.
39. Hunt for treasure together.
40. Be interested in their interests.
41. To say I love you, let go of jealousy.
42. Accept their weaknesses and flaws.
43. Ditch work or responsibilities to play with them.
44. Be yourself.
45. Share chocolates, ice cream sundaes, milkshakes.
46. To say I love you, ignore slights.
47. Pray or meditate together.
48. Practice forgiveness.
49. Watch classic movies together.
50. Leave notes or send letters.
51. To say I love you, buy a "for no reason at all" gift.
52. Don't gossip or judge.
53. Give the benefit of the doubt to say I love you.
54. Give space when they're in a bad or sad mood.
55. Learn something new together.
56. Go dancing.
57. Keep your promises to say I love you.
58. Make them laugh.
59. Consider their feelings.
60. Learn ways to rekindle the romance.
61. Hide a treat in their lunch.
62. To say I love you, make home a fun place to be.
63. Let them make their own decisions.
64. Say what you mean when you say I love you. Say why.

Saying I love you takes work and making your relationship stronger does take work. It's hard to be honest, and it's hard to accept the consequences of your honesty and authenticity. It takes time, energy, and commitment to stay connected through all the problems that life and people bring. It can be painful, aggravating, and scary to stick it out through all the ups and downs....but the alternative is worse.

Love - definitions

Love is any of a number of emotions and experiences related to a sense of strong affection and attachment. The word love can refer to a variety of different feelings, states, and attitudes, ranging from generic pleasure ("I loved that meal") to intense interpersonal attraction ("I love my boyfriend"). This diversity of uses and meanings, combined with the complexity of the feelings involved, makes love unusually difficult to consistently define, even compared to other emotional states.

As an abstract concept, love usually refers to a deep, ineffable feeling of tenderly caring for another person. Even this limited conception of love, however, encompasses a wealth of different feelings, from the passionate desire and intimacy of romantic love to the nonsexual emotional closeness of familial and platonic love to the profound oneness or devotion of religious love. Love in its various forms acts as a major facilitator of interpersonal relationships and, owing to its central psychological importance, is one of the most common themes in the creative arts.

The English word "love" can have a variety of related but distinct meanings in different contexts. Often, other languages use multiple words to express some of the different concepts that English relies mainly on "love" to encapsulate; one example is the plurality of Greek words for "love." Cultural differences in conceptualizing love thus make it doubly difficult to establish any universal definition.

Although the nature or essence of love is a subject of frequent debate, different aspects of the word can be clarified by determining what isn't love. As a general expression of positive sentiment (a stronger form of like), love is commonly contrasted with hate (or neutral apathy); as a less sexual and more emotionally intimate form of romantic attachment, love is commonly contrasted with lust; and as an interpersonal relationship with romantic overtones, love is commonly contrasted with friendship, although other definitions of the word love may be applied to close friendships in certain contexts.

When discussed in the abstract, love usually refers to interpersonal love, an experience felt by a person for another person. Love often involves caring for or identifying with a person or thing, including oneself (cf. narcissism).

In addition to cross-cultural differences in understanding love, ideas about love have also changed greatly over time. Some historians date modern conceptions of romantic love to courtly Europe during or after the Middle Ages, although the prior existence of romantic attachments is attested by ancient love poetry.

Because of the complex and abstract nature of love, discourse on love is commonly reduced to a thought-terminating cliché, and there are a number of common proverbs regarding love, from Virgil's "Love conquers all" to the Beatles' "All you need is love." Bertrand Russell describes love as a condition of "absolute value," as opposed to relative value. Philosopher Gottfried Leibniz said that love is "to be delighted by the happiness of another."